Blogetiquette
I’ve been blogging since September of 2004, and I don’t do it everyday. In fact sometimes I’m doing good to get a post in a week. I’ve also only been reading blogs for a few months. So I’m still new to this and still learning a lot of the rules.
I ran across someone else’s blog a few days ago. It was a blog I had enjoyed for a few weeks, but a couple of the more recent entries showed me a side of the author that I didn’t think was very cool. It wasn’t a matter of me not agreeing with what he wrote (which I didn’t). Lots of people write stuff that I don’t necessarily agree with. And I’m sure everyone doesn’t see eye to eye with all that I write. But I always try to be decent and try to not offend someone, or even insist that they follow my view. But in his writing, this guy displayed a personality trait that I thought was unbecoming. So, after reading it I thought to myself, “Wow. I didn’t realize he was that kind of person,” and then decided I just wouldn’t read any of his stuff anymore.
But a lot of other people felt the need to really say something to him and loaded up his comments with insults and ugly reactions, which in turn caused him to defend himself in an equally insulting way, which just made things more unpleasant.
I figured the best thing was to just walk away from it. After all, it’s his blog so he can say what he wants. Just like if I was in his home (and a blog is sort of a part of your online home), I’d have no right to tell him how to behave. I just wouldn’t have to visit. That got me thinking about the etiquette of blogging, particularly when it comes to comments.
I know that by allowing comments, you are in essence asking for feedback. But should that feedback some in the form of acidic criticism. Shouldn’t we respond to other bloggers in a polite manner, whether we agree or not. And say that you are the blogger that is being criticized, should you make matters worse by attacking back? I always feel odd responding to a comment in my own comments section. That sort of back and forth seems like it should be reserved for message boards and private correspondence. If I have a response, I usually respond by e-mail back the poster.
And what is the proper etiquette with comments in general? If someone has taken the time to write something should you respond? At the very least a “thank-you”? I generally don’t. I read all the comments, and if one spurs me to continue a dialog with the poster, then I contact them, but am I inadvertantly being rude? Is it like e-mail where people expect you to write back? Has anyone contacted Dear Abby on this? Miss Manners? I wanna know.
So, until I figure it out, to all of you who do stop in a take a read and then comment. , I appreciate you doing it. And if, all along, I should have been jotting down a thank you back, I apologize.
March 4th, 2005 at 10:19 am
I believe that a “thank you” is not required, but an autographed photo of Large Tony naked is required. So you better start signing some photos - you get a lot of comments.
March 4th, 2005 at 10:45 am
“Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept.
Fall in with it
and turn it your way.” ROBERT FROST
March 4th, 2005 at 12:00 pm
Commenting has always been a big issue. (Look back in the blogger tribe at some of the past discussions.) Personally, I don’t comment on everything that I read, mostly because someone else has said what I would have said. But if something strikes me, I’ll say something. But, as my parents told me, if you can’t say something nice, well I won’t leave a comment.
As for comments on my blog, I try to respond individually, but blogger allows anonymous comments and not everyone leaves their email. So I will leave my own comment, just to say thanks or to respond to something. It’s just a matter of personal taste.
March 4th, 2005 at 5:43 pm
From my own blog, I don’t mind criticism however, I do expect respect. It is fine to disagree w/me. How you disagree reflects upon yourself not me. If a person is overly nasty w/o any real direct provocation, I delete their response. I’ve only had to do that one time in a year.
When I respond to blogs, I try to be respectful even if I disagree. I usually offer a reason for the disagreement. If it turns into a back and forth I just stop responding.
I don’t expect everyone to get back to me when I comment on their blogs.
March 5th, 2005 at 11:13 am
I always email a ‘thanks’ to first-time commenters. I think it is always good to encourage newbies to cross the chasm and join the conversation.
I’m trying to feature other bloggers’s posts more frequently to expose my readers to other folk I like to read.
March 6th, 2005 at 1:20 am
Occasionally I will comment on a comment someone leaves on a post. It doesn’t happen that often, though. I only delete a comment if it’s Spam. (There’ll be no ads on my blog unless I’m getting paid!) You’re right, people should be respectful. I take great efforts to be respectful, both in my blog posts, and with leaving comments on someone else’s blog.
March 7th, 2005 at 1:42 pm
I think you should do whatever you feel. It’s your blog, dude. Bloggers are like artists- they tend to create their own moral universe.
March 7th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
I’m with you on the commenting issue, Tony. I generally tend not to respond to each and every comment left on my blog (I’m a working girl, ya know!) as I don’t have a ton of time to devote to responding to ‘em all.
March 8th, 2005 at 12:21 am
The only nasty comments anyone has left me were a result of someone spamming up craigslist with links to my blog. And no, it wasn’t me who did it.
I probably wasn’t as gracious as I possibly could have been, but I also could have handled it differently. Oh well…you live, you learn. Besides, my blog is therapy for me, nothing more.
March 8th, 2005 at 1:30 am
I usually dont comment to blogs I dont like. Unless I really like them, Or I have something to say or learn from it. Or if it appeals too me then I’ll comment. But other than that I totally agree with you Tony..
March 9th, 2005 at 4:24 am
hey tony
i really appreciate what u wrote about comments, and commenting,
let me tell you my small experience on a french blog, a gay one, i found great in its early beginning when i join, i wanted to share in that community my view about life and about some pics of what i like and my inspired words.
I wanted my blog to be my diary, im used about havin those moleskine diaires when its time to write about topics important to my life.
Then i discovered that i was commented, and i discovered that there were a small community in that community, only able to give acid and awful comments, delivering the good and showing and fingering ridiculous as the bad posts in their universe.
I dislike that kind of world, where oligarchy reigns and for being awful.
i close the comments, and just post there, but on that blog community theres a central board where everyone can see all new post on the community, and anytime i was posting the leader of that oligarchy of politically correct blog “the Guru” posted about my post and allowing comments as if it was for me, and they deversed there awful direct personnal attacks, and they even didnt know me, to judge me as idiot and stupid person,
in the beginning i was new to blog and those attacks were hard for me, i didnt take distance with it and felt hurted, but in times i received emails from others telling me to not care about that, its just vicious cat games of that little oligarchy and their guru.
but once month ago appeared a troll (its strange that troll is alltime same everywhere) and that troll (surely someone pissed off with that idiots oligarchy) came to bullshit on all blogs of everyone and mostly on the oligarchy ones, and put a mess for several months, and point by point showed to whole community that those guys member of that oligarchy were only small silly precious idiots, and those happy few feared the troll, and requested helps from others and from the webmaster to banip that troll,
sure he was banned
but since that time, from times to times others invisible are using the avatar of that troll to do same, and it was as a catharsis there, and even if that happyfew do same with their awful comments, my life there is better, im happy to blog there, my private blog isnt there anymore, i cant allow idiots to comments about what is precious to my life.
but tony you were right, i dont care about bad comments anymore, it cant hurt me but just revealed that sometimes i dont see all the sides of a topic and it could be helpful when not its ok i can delete it
if the comment is cool or flatterous i just email : thanks by email when possible
March 9th, 2005 at 9:54 pm
Comments, if you’re moved to comment do so. I love comments on my Blog because it shows people are paying attention and really reading what I have to say. I like good and bad comments. All though i’m not inclided to post something negative on my site, because i want my readers to enjoy the Blog.
You can also check out some of the posts i’ve written for some of the marketers I’ve worked with, but it might help.
http://gayguy.blogs.com/bloging_new_york_one_bad_/zen_of_blogging/index.html
March 14th, 2005 at 8:25 pm
I don’t get much comments. I’m assuming cause I don’t have many regular readers. The ones I do get are usually from friends that I have met along the way. I agree with Alex, I love comments. I like that people are reading what I have to say. Whether it be good or bad. I have my moments.
I’ve had my share of unkind comments. It use to bother me. I don’t let it get to me anymore. I myself typically don’t email a commenter, I’ll respond within the comments on their response. Everyone is free to email me and my email is visible for those to find. I figure if they want to comment directly to me they will email me and I will email directly back to whatever comment they have. Unless of course something has totally got out of hand. Then I will have to email directly. I like getting email-let’s me know I still exist somewhere out there to somebody (Even Comments).
March 23rd, 2005 at 11:05 pm
A well-written essay, and a reasonable position. I agree: better to keep quiet than make nasty comments in a public forum. After all, no one is tying any of us a to a chair, taping our eyelids up, and forcing us to read someone’s blog. If the blogger is saying something the blog reader finds upsetting or ridiculous, vote with your feet; the exit’s thattaway.
I haven’t had to deal with many comments at this point; my blog is less than a month old. And then there’s the fact that I haven’t taken much of a position on anything yet (although you wouldn’t be into my post on Siamese cats, I’m pretty sure).
Thank you ‘notes’? I don’t think that’s necessary. Public conversation via the comments? Why not, as long is it’s polite. If there’s a need for a more personal comment, then e-mail would be more appropriate. Either way, though, getting a dialogue going is a good thing.
October 19th, 2006 at 3:10 am
Nice site I found … Plan on coming back later to spend a little time there.
November 24th, 2006 at 12:05 am
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